


Hat Problems

by jadey36



Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 17:15:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1949538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadey36/pseuds/jadey36
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As a fully-fledged musketeer, d'Artagnan receives a hat. His problem is hanging onto it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hat Problems

D’Artagnan lost his musketeer hat the first time through sheer carelessness. He retraced his drunken steps the next day but to no avail. The hat, his pride and joy, had disappeared.

The second time he lost it was during a wild ride through the forest. A high wind had caught under the hat’s wide brim and lifted it into the air. It got stuck in the branches of a tree, out of reach. None of his musketeer friends was prepared to climb the tree to fetch it and d’Artagnan found, after climbing halfway up the huge oak, that he was afraid of heights. So that was that. The wind dropped and the hat stayed in the tree. On returning the next day, it was evident the hat had blown down during the night, but there was no trace of it on the ground.

Once again, d’Artagnan approached Captain Treville with a shamefaced apology and a request for a further hat.

Treville provided it, with a warning and a docking of d’Artagnan’s wages.

D’Artagnan lost his hat for a third time through neither carelessness nor the elements. Never good at card games, he was down to nothing but his hat (which he determined to hang onto until his options ran out) when his opponent dealt the winning hand and a blushing d’Artagnan handed over his final piece of clothing – his hat.

D’Artagnan left Treville’s office with the words 'lose it at your peril' ringing in his ears.

He wore his fourth hat day and night. He slept wearing it; bathed, drunk and ate wearing it. He wore it when he made love (his willing partner admitted a hat kink was a new one on her and she loved it). In short, he never took it off.

D’Artagnan was glad he hadn’t lost his hat. When it came to his turn to present himself to the king, he did so with a smile on his face and a deep bow.

The king turned to Treville. “Treville.”

“Sire?”

“See that this musketeer gets a new hat. This one looks as though his horse has trampled all over it.”

Treville shot d’Artagnan a furious look.

D’Artagnan sighed. Being a musketeer was so much harder than he thought it would be.

 


End file.
